I’ve been intending to submit this story for sharing with your subscribers for quite a few years. I think quite enough water has gone under the bridge to get away with it now! It is a wonderful tale of the innocence of youth, and I am sure that even the most sensitive and prudish of the Lovatts ‘family’ will not be offended.

This true story took place almost 35 years ago in my 3rd year of high-school, so I was about 14 at the time.

On rainy days the school often invoked a ‘wet weather timetable’. During a shortened lunch-period students could, rather than being sent outside into the elements, engage in (supposedly!) quiet socialising or private study in designated class-rooms.

On one such occasion two of my colleagues decided to attack the crossword in the daily newspaper. A couple of clues eluded them. Peter was quite a wordsmith back then, so the clues must have been fairly tough. I don’t recall the actual clues, so let’s say for the purposes of this story that one of the missing answers was ‘gamin’.

Mandy was helping by trolling through the standard school-issue dictionary – no computers or Internet in those days – looking for potential words that fitted the letter combinations on hand. I should note that Mandy’s willowy blonde looks belied her beautiful sweet and naive nature!

After a little while Mandy triumphantly exclaimed, “I’ve found it…….SEMEN!!” “Oh for God’s sake, Mandy”, hissed the more worldly Peter exasperatedly, “read the definition!”

Although it took some time for Mandy to get over her embarrassment, it has obviously had no long-term effect on her. Some years later I was proud to be the best man at her wedding…..to my mate Steve, not Peter!!

Ron Cooke
Ringwood North, Vic