There’s a Lovatts for everyone; crosswords for choice.
And some are beginners and some are Rolls-Royce.
We feel rampant nostalgia with Memory Lane,
With Weismuller’s Tarzan, and unlikely Jane…
The NAAFI and ITMA induced us to hanker
For As Time Goes By back in old Casablanca;
And the jazz and the dance bands, like spruce Henry Hall.
But we think that the Stinker’s the pride of them all.

The Big Cash is comforting, coffee-break size,
And its nice big layout’s a relief to the eyes.
The Starhunt’s a teaser to test out our skill
In word-building and spelling (could that be whippoorwill?).
Is it good? Is it feed? But the down clue won’t fit,
And if i is nineteen, that one has to be grit….
But for sheer fascination, a search to enthral,
We still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all.

The Knowledge means racking our memory hard
For the name of the poet the Welsh call The Bard.
Though our history’s good, our geography’s poorer,
And we still have to check how to spell Isadora!
The Pop Words just lose us – we are so out-of-date
That we can’t even say who was Donovan’s mate,
Though we do know an actress called Lauren Bacall.
But we still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all.

Now, we like the Goliathon, though not arcane,
Because it still tests the intelligent brain.
Though the clues are not specialised, learned or rare,
Their skilled ambiguity can still bring despair.
But we manage this well with a trusty thesaurus,
Because we’re unlikely to meet Tyrannosaurus.
Though we do need to know that a Centre’s a Mall.
But we still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all.

And the Cryptics are beautiful; crafted and fun.
They need lateral thinking, like two can mean one.
Don’t know the answer? Look up fruit-eating bird.
And remember that old Saxon soldiers are Fyrd.
Initials or anagrams? Inclusive parts?
Or simply the knowledge that some deer are harts?
Are Poppies the answer to cutting too tall?
But we still say the Stinker’s the pride of them all.

And the Demon is daunting, no doubt about that;
What with bee’s leg hair tufts and a French Corporal’s hat.
Much classical knowledge we dig from our past,
And the subtle distinctions of Indian caste.