hello-smlChristine Lovatt

I was just about to take a bite of my hot buttered toast this morning when it slipped through my fingers and landed on the floor… buttered side down.

Although my outlook on life is generally optimistic, I found myself thinking of that well known expression with the underlying message that if anything can go wrong, it will – bread never falls but on its buttered side. This phrase was first published in a New York magazine in 1835 as part of a rhyme:
I never had a slice of bread
Particularly large and wide
That did not fall upon the floor
And always on the buttered side!

After testing the theory, scientists found that humans and tables aren’t actually tall enough for toast to regularly land butter-side up. Toast sliding off a plate from a height of less than 8ft spins too slowly to make a complete revolution and is more likely to land buttered side down.

Naturally, my thoughts drifted to other butter-related expressions, and there are quite a few.

Someone who is clumsy or prone to dropping things may be called butterfingers. The term could be used to describe someone who has a tendency to drop toast but is more often associated with cricket, where “butterfingers!” is sometimes shouted at the poor cricketer who misses the catch. To flatter with smooth talk is to butter up, usually in the hope of receiving something in return and bread and butter is a person’s livelihood or provider of income.

To know which side one’s bread is buttered is to be mindful of one’s own interest; or know what to do in order to gain an advantage. To butter one’s bread on both sides is to gain advantages from two sides at once or to be wastefully extravagant.

Butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth is a phrase that dates back to the 16th century. It refers to a person who has a cool demeanour without enough warmth, even in the mouth, to melt butter.

Fine words butter no parsnips means that words alone are not enough to rectify a situation and what you do is more important than what you say.

So as I sweep up the crumbs and re-stock the toaster, I’m hoping you can plough through the puzzles in this issue like a hot knife through butter while I get back to my bread and butter job of making crosswords!

Happy puzzling!

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